Eat, Pray, Love

Do you know what I felt when I woke up this morning?

Nothing.
No passion, no spark, no faith, no heat.
Absolutely nothing.

I think I've really gotten past the point where I can be calling this a bad moment.

And it just, it terrifies me.
This is like worse than death to me.
The idea that this is the person that I’m gonna be from now on.

I need to change.

I have a support system here.
I have friends and family who love me.

But can they feel my love for them?
My support for them?
NO.

There’s, like, nothing.
I have no pulse.

What did you have for lunch today?
I used to have this appetite for food,
for my life……
......and it is just gone.

I wanna go some place where I can marvel at something. 
But where?

I have not given myself two weeks of a breather to just deal with,
you know,
myself.

I just don’t know how to be here.

I wish I could go.
But I don’t know how.

 

*Quoted from the movie “Eat, Pray, Love”, 2010, with part of the dialogues modified.